I’m done with being quiet about it.
I’m done hiding it.
I’m done sugar coating it.
I’m ready to be blunt.
Since the last blog was about changes in my life, I decided to continue that theme. Not being selected as a student leader in the youth group broke me. Mentally I had a fit, a brake down, an overload. Nobody knows how much my heart longed for that. I was ashamed to not be picked, broken hearted to not be considered leadership. When I first found out, I’m not ashamed to say, it brought me to tears. It broke me. Satan took it and ran with it. I didn’t tell anybody because I was ashamed of it.
But like I said before, I have copped with it, not completely, but its coming. It made me realize that there was change needed in my life. So I decided to leave pre-school. But that’s not the only thing I need to change. But this change I have no control over, which is evident of not being invited to the weekend.
Youth needs to stop and take a 180 turn. It doesn’t need to completely change its heading in an okay direction, but a 180 flip will put it in a life changing direction. I don’t know how fusion is. Epic is dull, boring, a mirror image of Sunday morning. I don’t go to youth for the same thing I get on Sunday morning. It lacks maturity on my level; I feel as though an 11 year old being talked down to and being told what to do.
The sermons don’t teach me, they repeat what I already know. The worship is repetitive. I don’t feel the passion coming out. I see leaders who just do it to get the job done. No umph, nothing special.
The leadership is adult full. Youth should be an opportunity for students to connect, worship, learn, SERVE, and TEACH. I tend not to go to an adult in search of advice, because if I needed an opinion with seniority, I would go to my parents. I go to students, my peers, people that would understand what I was going through. I want to see students serving students, making an impression on students.
You tell me we the church of today and tomorrow, but we have no options to be the church.
It was tonight when it hit me in the face. When the thought “I’d rather be spending the hour at home alone doing devotionals” crossed my mind, that’s when it swept over me. I used to love youth, I would have rather to have been there then anywhere else in the world.
I want passion.
I want student serving.
I want more connections.
I want a lot.
I want change.
I don't want to feel this way.
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//edit::
I want to spend more time with people from youth.
I want mission trips.
I want youth outings.
I want to connect to one another, so we can connect with others.
I was opportunity's to change peoples life, change the world.
//add on::
I don't want this to look like I'm dissing the leadership. Or the pastors. If Cory or Scott or Krystal or anyone reads this, I want them to know, this is me telling them I'm wanting a change. I want to partner with them to make it better. I want to hear their opinions, but I want them to hear mine to. I'm on board with them, we serve the same God, so we must serve the same purpose!
5 comment(s) from you.:
Stand up, then.
You can change it.
You can make a difference.
If you really feel like God is leading you to make a change, then get up and move.
If we all work together with Scott and the adult leaders, they'll work with us. They just don't know what we need yet.
hm. yeah. if it makes you feel any better I was only invited because Delea was, that's what I think anyways. But I know that's not what you're talking about.
I know. it dosn't have the 'it' that youth had a year ago. What do you think it needs to change it? I know they're trying, but what does it need?
I was going to start talking about something that was said yesterday at the bible study I go to. They even mentioned the bible verse that is on your blog. We want to start something, a revolution, in the Clayton area. We're praying about it, but we really want to do something like SWAT, like have meetings at night. REally pray about it, grow together, and start something bigger than ourselves. I thought of Tami and Christal, how they go to bars in the mornings and stuff, and thought she'd be interested. I know everyone lives so far away, but it's a wonderful thought. And maybe we could do something like that at church. Maybe even not like that, but something that will equally bring us together as a youth group. Maybe connect groups will be a step in the right direction. I dunno, but know that more people probably feel this way. I think it just takes time in some places. Scott really does want to see us change and grow together & build each other up.
agreed.
hablamos mañana en escuela. as usual.
maybe i know what this feels like, but it's been a while, so maybe it felt a different way. i know my own kind of disappointment and frustration in this area, of people seeing my abilities/leadership.
it's completely healthy. and i hate it for you, and i believe in you.
cause i know you're a leader. everybody knows. you didn't go on the trip, but that doesn't lessen it.
I agree with Rachel...you Joe Roy are a leader.
I as an adult look at you and think to myself...where would I be now if I had know God like Joe does when I was his age?
Thank you for being an example of a godly person. You inspire me to do better in my own walk with Christ
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