Thursday, January 3, 2008

Hold up, what?

Hm. That’s how I felt soon after I found out. I can’t go into details, say names, places, or affiliations because then it will become obvious.


I remember thinking “Hold up, what? I didn’t get picked, they didn’t pick me, but I’m me?” before long I realized that it was selfish of me to think this. But it still didn’t stop my heart from breaking, my mind to go crazy, and my feelings from being hurt.


I got over it, almost forgot about it, then the event happened, and my heart broke harder, feelings hurt worse, and mind went crazier then ever. I wanted to be there with all my heart, I wanted to be recognized; I wanted the privilege, the knowledge, the fun. But I have had to accept that there is a greater cause for me not being involved with it.


But not being involved in this made me take a long look at myself and my heart. I feel like God is telling me to start anew. I want to walk into the church this Sunday back to the way I was before. I feel like I’m fading into the church, becoming a face in the crowd. God has been telling my heart for awhile it’s time for a change. He has been preparing my heart for something new, different, larger.


I’ve decided to leave the pre-school ministry. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but to me it’s huge. I started in pre-school the day that I started going to Sunday morning service. Easter will be 2 years with pre-school. I fell in love with it instantly. I grew in places I was weak in, I became a better person. Part of me has always been the 4 year old room. I don’t feel like I’m going to grow any more in preschool. I believe God has taught me all he is going to through pre-school, at least in this part of my life.


I’m not sure where I’m going to go. I’m looking at all the possibilities, door greeter, tech team, usher, even elementary or nursery. But I’m praying about, and waiting for God’s direction.


I’m ready for new.

I’m ready for college.

I’m ready for the real world.

I’m ready to change the world.

3 comment(s) from you.:

Figueras Life said...

joe, my dear uncle jo-jo :-P you are one of the most amazing young men i know. i must say that i experienced a mix of emotions when i didn't see you - happy for my crew, but sad @ the same time. i know that God has some awesome things planned for you. i just wanted to say thanks for always making mitch feel welcome. he really misses his friends from south florida, since they were the kids he grew up with. he's much more of an introvert & thinker than he lets on. anyway, THANK YOU for always making the figs feel included. just thought you should know how much i appreciate it :-)
btw, since christal leaves on the 1/11, is there any way we can hang out sunday after the 2nd service & b/4 the student service? maybe go to the pizza place down the road from church or dairy queen?
e-mail me @ work: jfigueras@wakemed.org or call me: home - 919 327 6271 & cell - 305 775 6872 (this # is the better one).

:-) jane

Amanda said...

your post made me go :(
i feel ya, i feel ya.
but it's allll goood. God's got yo back man! And by the end of your post it made me go, 'yes!'

you should come to elementary. they already have PLENTY of tech and greeter people.

Kristina Weeks said...

um, to amanda's comment-- NO.

he's coming to chill with me yo;;

 

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