Remember This?

Kristina did this first, and then we all stole it.

I’m stealing one more time.

Hmkay?

no assumptions

one.

The hardest part is sitting back watching you hurting. Knowing there is very little I can do. I want to run to you, pick you up, and be the shoulder for you to lean on, like I have been before. But, when I take a step back and look at reality, I know if I do that, I’ll only hurt myself. I can’t get as close to you as we we’re before, at least not now. Maybe over time God will give me the peace of mind and strength to know that I could get close to you, and pursue a pure, strong friendship. But, the fact of the matter is, I beat myself up everyday because of you, and I don’t know why. I don’t know why God has made you so special to me, I don’t understand his purpose. Honestly, the only reason I can be so blunt, and obvious about who this (person “one”) is, that there is no way most people wouldn’t be able to figure it out, because I know there’s a 99% chance you’ll never read this. I know it’s because you don’t care enough about me to want to read about my hurts. And, Gah! I guess that’s what pulling me apart, piece by piece. Knowing God has put you in my life and heart in such a big way, only to know that there is nothing remotely close to that for me in yours. I really don’t know what to do between me and you. I don’t want to scare you away and I don’t want you to know my heart. But I never want to leave you or give up our friendship. I guess it’s embarrassment. That really doesn’t make since either, though. Everyone else knows. Why the crap does it matter so much if you do? Even though you probably do. But, I guess that brings us back to the original question. Why do you mean so much to me? Maybe God will show me.

two.

Gosh I am so tired of you. Get over yourself, please? Your so selfish, that it pisses me off. Your hurting so many people because of your selfish desire to be independent and live your life. Shut up, please. Maybe one day God will grant me patience enough to deal with you.

three.

I miss you, where did you go?

four.
Maybe one day our friendship will really blossom, and maybe we’ll stop making each other mad and getting each other mad. Hopefully in the next 6 months.

five.

I suck being your friend, I don’t know why.

six.

You’re an awesome person. I am so glad that God has brought you into my life. Man, you are going to rock the world for Christ. You truly are amazing.

seven.

I have no feelings towards you…positive, negative. Maybe that will change.

So, these are seven people who are on my mind, what seems like all the time.

I don’t know why I wrote this.

Whatever.

Pray for me?

Please