You’ve been standing in the road all day. The day has brought sun shine and blue skies. You’ve been enjoying the weather, the scenic masterpiece, and the sunshine hitting your face. But, towards the end of the day it starts to rain, to pour. Thunder rolls and lightning cracks, and you feel the hail hitting your face. Your feet begin to hurt because you’ve made them support your body all day. You find your self ready to leave, you grow impatient. You become reminded of why you were standing in the road. You’re waiting for something to come, to hit you. Finally, you see something in the distance. You see the headlights coming over the hill. But your sight is blurred because of the rain. You don’t know what’s heading towards you, but you know its coming, and its coming fast. You’re ready for it…

No, I don’t want a car to hit me.

Tonight, after service, I kneeled at the stage. I prayed hard and I prayed long. It was needed, it was over due. It was amazing.

I feel like a bulleted… mkay?

• I Love c3. I love the overwhelming sense of peace that embraces me when I walk in. Even when I just drive by, its breath-taking. I love the people that walk with me through those doors. I love the passion that so many of them have embedded into the hearts.
  
• I love my kids, I love them. I love how the call me Mr. Joe. I love when they see me in the hallway and give me a hug. I love the fact the some of them request my class. I love how they can't sense how overwhelmed and scarred I am to be their teacher.
• I love the outstretched arm that we offer to those surrounding us. I love how Pastor Matt realizes how important grasping the idea of "It's not about making us happy, it's about lives out side of the church.
  
• I love the music. The Staff. The Videos. The Message. The coffee. The tech team. The ushers. The Windows. The building. The bookstore. I love how big the seats are now. I love how much room there is in the lobby to just talk.
  
• I hate the negativity that is associated in my church.
• I had to defend it in my 1st block to a guy or said "I hate c3. You should never go to c3, it's like going to hell. If you want a sound biblical message, don't go there". I was forced to defend my church and to work with him in a group project.
• In US History someone made a reference to something being like a cult. Mr. Hudson said "That's Funny, some guy in my class said church was like a cult." Four people shouted out "c3!!". 10 sets of eyes feel on my face. They looked at me, awaiting my reaction, they knew how much I wanted to say something. "Joe, it's okay, don't say anything". Mr. Hudson asked about c3, he didn't understand the reaction. Why there was such an outburst, followed by complete silence. "A lot people talk crap about c3. It's Joe's church" someone said. Everyone looked at me, Mr. Hudson asked me about it. I said all I wanted to. "People think it's a cult because its got 4,000 members and does things a little different". He noticed my anger, and changed the subject. I didn't speak the rest of the class.
  
• I guess thats why I get so defensive when people leave, or change churches, or something like that. I don't want to have to defend c3 to people who were once on the same side as me. You know? (This isn't about just one person, please don't assume)
• Now...random stuff:
• I don't like any of the presidential candidates. I'm ready to see their running mates.
• I'm struggling with feeling like I'm a good student. I do math, I calculate my GPA, in the future.
  
• Theres no way I can make a 4.0 GPA and it kills me
• I'm in the top 20% of my class, but it doesn't feel good enough
• I tell myself, "Joe, it's okay." Your one of the only students in West Johnston to have had Algebra 1a1b and to take Honors Algebra 2. You went from taking no honors classes, to all honors and an AP next year. Joe, you have a learning disability, but you have overcome, be proud of yourself. You've worked just as hard, if not harder then all these people, your outcome is just slightly different.
  
• But, it's hard.
  
• I'm not stupid, but I can't help but feel like everyone else thinks I am.
• Maybe if I finish my online AP class early, I'll have time to take another class and maybe bring my GPA up.
  
• Wishful thinking is my conscience
• Liberty... my heart longs for.
• Senior year be good to me,please.
• I love those kids in my art class, I look forward to that class. They make it worth coming to school.
• Next Weekend:
• DC
• Nice hotel
• Free Zoo
• Pandas
• Memorials n such
• I do like it there. I hope it's not to busy.
• I'm allowed to bring a friend, who wants to come?
• Fig/Guys Day
• Joy
• Camp:
• I'm learning not to judge a book by its cover.
• I signed up for it tonight, all $300.
  
• It will be fantastic, it will.
• I will grow close to:
• God
• Myself
• Friends
• Old
• New
• New Faces
• I'm going to miss the 12 hour drive, and the beautiful resort, and the crystal blue water, and the white sandy beaches, and the amazing pool, the awesome worship, but I'm looking forward to something different.
  
• =) Robbie!
  
• Summer:
• Volunteer at Church during week
  
• Scott Randlet
• Who knows doing what
• Sunday church normalities.
  
• Visit Gramps twice a week.
• Spend much time a la playa. (beach)
• No Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....well maybe
• Planning many beach trips with amigos
• I like propel lemon water
• I like the news
• I spend a lot of time on face book
• I'm okay with it
• I love my phone.
• You do to
• Bill Hornsby ... he's my favorite.
• Besides Robby, of course.
• Mitch Fig is hilarious. I love TechTeam with him. He cracks me up.
• I love the wheres joe group.
• Truly I do
• My dad comes home soon.
• I wont see him much though.
  
• Him and Momma are going somewhere for like 5 day
• I'll see him for the last weekend he's here.
• It's cool though.
• I'm so envious of the graduates
• I know...I shouldn't "envy"
  
• I always look at the clock at 11:59pm
• Public speaking is not my thing.
• Butterfingers are
• I drink way to much soda
• I need some Madea
• Wednesday I'm going to see Narnia ... con mi favoritos :)
• I bribe my kids with kids cash.
• I want the people in my first block to know the real me
• They think I'm quiet.
• thats dumb
• And finally:
  
• You and your family in my prayers. I pray he has his hands on your search and that he brings you to a home. I pray that where ever he brings you, that it's where you want to be and that you're happy there.
• And You. I don't know how to pray for you. I just pray God guides me in the right direction.
• You, you're always in my prayers. I pray for a victory.
• I pray that you will find God's purpose in this. I pray that you will not let this conquer you.I know you wont let it, your stronger then that. I know God is just making room in your life for something so much greater!
  
• And for you, I wish you knew how much I pray for you.
  

Peace.
14 days left of junior year.