Monday, January 28, 2008

AHH!

I'm done with it.
My patience is gone.
My heart is done giving.
My grace is full.
My time is done.
My love is shaken.
My mind is on overload.
I can't stand it.

There used to be pros and cons about the situation. Now, all I see are cons. Con after con after con!

I'm breaking my mind, my mind is seriously breaking, searching for ways to cope, to deal. But it's hard, its worse then it's ever been, and it can't get better. I'm searching my soul and brain for ways, but theres nothing, it's empty.

The way they live, the way they spend their money, how they raise their kids, how they treat one another. His constant need to feel accepted, his overprotection, his favoritisms, he all about me attitude. Her continuous complaints, her way with saying the right things to piss me off, her neediness. The noise, the rudeness, the toys, the disrespect to my mother. All of it and more.

I feel horrible about this. I should be compassionate, life-giving, sharing, kind. I shouldn't pray that they get there house, not for there joy, but only because of my selfishness.

I just want them gone. I want them out.
And I want to stop complaining about this.

And when they are, you will know, because there will be the greatest fiesta at my house. I promise!




Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

2 Corinthians 6
3
We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;

3 comment(s) from you.:

Anonymous said...

there's a bid and there's 17 more days til feb 14, so it's not too much longer. i'm sorry for it.

Sue said...

kindness and compassion are wonderful things until someone takes advantage of them. I feel your emotions, and know where you're coming from. We also offered a place in home to another. We believed it was what God wanted us to do at the time, but that time is over now. A very, very small part of me is sad that things worked out the way they did, but for the most part I'm happy to have things back to normal.(as possible) Hang in there, God hears your prayers.( even the ones we don't think we should be praying)

Patty Honeycutt said...

Joe, I know how you feel. My sister and her two children moved in with my family for awhile. I felt very pushed out of place. I even had to give up my bed for a short while for them. It will get better after they get their own place. It isn't selfish to want them to leave. It is okay to pray for them to find a home. Try to hang in there! I'll be praying for you too.

 

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